Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Five approaches to happiness

Continuing Mental Illness week, I thought I'd share this short video from Tal Ben-Shahar, a psychology lecturer at Harvard University. Ben-Shahar lectures extensively on "positive psychology," more information about which can be found here. (My apologies for the right edge of the video being a little cropped; you can also see the video here, as well as read a transcript of the talk here.)


Matthew Tiffany is a mental health counselor, freelance writer, and parent. He welcomes any questions or comments, and can be reached at his e-mail address,matthewwftiffany@gmail.com, by phone at (207)518-8145, and via his website.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Caring for a depressed friend

This week is Mental Illness Week, so I thought I'd write a bit about being helpful to people suffering from depression. The fact is, nearly everyone will have difficulties of this sort at some point in your life, whether it be severe depression or "a case of the blues," whether it be discomfort around changes in your work schedule or full blown stress and panic attacks from being laid off. Mental illness can and does affect people of all ages, races, and backgrounds.

  1. The first thing you can do to help a friend or relative who has depression is to help him or her to get an appropriate diagnosis and treatment. If the depression is severe, you may need to make an appointment for them and accompany them to that appointment. Also, encourage him or her to stick with the treatment - the problems that can lead to depression often have roots that go way back, and it takes time to address those causes. You can find a counselor or therapist in your area at this excellent website.
  2. Offer emotional support and encouragement. Let the person know that you're available to help out. A quote: "It was one of those times when you have to decide between your own convenience and the unknown quantity of another man's troubles." (R. Macdonald) Listen to him or her openly, without judging or trying to downplay how the person is feeling. What may seem like a minor matter to you (and might to them, also, if they weren't struggling) isn't minor to them.
  3. Never ignore comments about suicide, and report them to your friend's or relative's counselor or doctor. If you are unsure about how to contact them, or need further advice on how to proceed, the Maine 211 help line is a good resource.
  4. Invite your friend or relative to go on walks, outings and other activities. Keep trying if he or she declines, but remember not to push. Although diversions and company are needed, placing too many demands on the person may increase feelings of failure.
  5. Remind the person that with time and treatment, the depression will lift. Let them know that although depression can feel like the worst sort of loneliness, many people suffer from it and are able to turn around a situation that seems hopeless.
Matthew Tiffany is a mental health counselor, freelance writer, and parent. He welcomes any questions or comments, and can be reached at his e-mail address,matthewwftiffany@gmail.com, by phone at (207)518-8145, and via his website.